sorry for not posting much. been very very mentally unwell, and with the added breakup, im just too stressed. feminism takes a lot of energy for me and i almost cant get out of bed in the morning, let alone defend womanhood and fight for my sisters.
You don’t ask people with knives in their stomachs what would make them happy; happiness is no longer the point. It’s all about survival; it’s all about whether you pull the knife out and bleed to death or keep it in.
so i think me and him are on the same page about the breakup and are going to remain friends. im really happy about that. itd be really weird for me to not text him and see him. i really need him in my life, and this way he can be in my life, but also not self destruct because of me. i have resigned myself to aloneness for a while, and when i feel im good on my own again, then ill try and find someone stable who has patience for days, and can be patient with me. until then, i have to relearn how to be alone. its an eerie feeling. im greatful for the people who have supported me in my decision, including him. its sad that it didnt work out how we wanted, but thats life i guess. nothing ever really goes how id like it to.
i feel like a big ol pile of loser dust